Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
