We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
