Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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