AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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