Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize