and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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