i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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