remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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