It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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