I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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