You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
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He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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