i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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