I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize