i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize