I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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