it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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