If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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