i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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