I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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