Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
