Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
