There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I lost the right to judge tonight
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
