I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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