I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
