So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
