In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize