well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its liver damage thursday
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
