you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
