the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I could make wine with my vomit
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
