Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
