Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
