Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
