i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
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I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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