Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize