All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
