its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
