If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
