Where is the hickey?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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