If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
