I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
