He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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