I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
