Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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