I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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