I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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