i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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