You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
