Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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