Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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