wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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