If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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