Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
