how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize