Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
