I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
